Friday, January 20, 2012

night owl

My newest dilemma as a sometimes-freelancing, blogging, stay-at-home mom...discovery that I'm a night owl. Which of course causes me guilt.

I love staying up late, when the house is silent, and there is absolutely nothing else I have to do. I can't vacuum or do the laundry or I'll wake everyone up. I can't go grocery shopping, because we all know that all the lunatics are out after midnight and I might get mugged. Perfect time to become one with blogger, launch my plan to become the hot new columnist over at the Republic, you know, whatever.

And Larry is great about taking care of the kids in the morning. He'll get up and handle breakfast and get them off to school. Olivia's outfit may not match, and the boys may not brush their teeth...but everyone gets to school safely with a full tummy. All's fair, right? Because I handle everything in the afternoon and evening. Even steven.

But you know, it's just in the Mommy DNA. I am 43 and know I'll never be a morning person, and am grateful that Larry encourages me to stay in bed. But I am overwhelmed with guilt if I don't get up and give my kids a kiss goodbye in the morning, and tell them to have a nice day. God forbid something happens to them, and I didn't tell them I loved them that day. Is sleep more important than that? ugh.

Adjusting to this new lifestyle and trying to take it as it comes. And accept help and compromise when it is offered. But still feeling guilty knowing that I will really, really want to sleep in tomorrow morning.

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