Thursday, May 10, 2012

don't worry, be happy

Made a vow to myself today. For 24 hours, I'm going to do my very, very best not to worry.

And what, pray tell, are you worried about, you may ask?

I worry each time a grab a diet soda (which is several times a day), because of everything I've read about the horrible chemicals they contain, and the havoc they will wreak on my body.

Today I read a blog about parents' electronic connectivity and how it is disconnecting them from their children. Their list of 15 or so "symptoms"? Guilty, at some point, on each count. Now I'll worry about the time I spend on the computer or on my phone.

I worry about the food I buy for my family at the grocery store. Bacon? Breakfast cereal? Fruit snacks? Everything has something bad for us in it these days. Checking labels for this, that, and the other, it's tough to leave the store without having an anxiety attack.

Then that segment on the Today Show about not yelling at your kids. Really. They make it sound so easy. We are bombarded with well-meaning, and often good, advice about how to be the best parent we can be - which of course leaves me in constant worry that I'll never live up to the ideal parent I'm expected to be, and my kids are going to be scarred for life.

I'm worried about money. And college for my kids? Angling for scholarships - music for Griffin, academic for Connor, and Olivia, well, whatever she sets her mind to. So now I'll also worry about my ability to give them the opportunities they need to reach their potential.

I worry about my health.

Worried about how I'll keep my kids busy this summer.

Worried about getting enough freelance work.

Worried about tomorrow's deadline.

Worried that I am indeed in the early stages of perimenopause, which means of course hormone imbalance, mood swings, and god knows what else. So now I'll also worry about my poor husband and pushing him to his patience limits. In, um, many different ways.

And the list goes on. And on. And rarely does a day go by that most of these don't pass through my consciousness at some point and nag at me a little. It adds up. And so much of it is influenced by the over-abundance of information out there of how we should be properly working, eating, exercising, parenting, spending, saving, etc.

So I really did decide this morning that I'm going to do the things I can do to control what needs controlling today, and to let go of the rest. It's hard, but when you decide that the glass is going to be half full, the blessings are easier to find.

Went to Griffin's school this morning to pay for his yearbook and tickets to his upcoming production. I've been worried (there's that word again) about getting it done on time, and about the fact that I have to write two more checks for another $75. Nagging at me for days. But once I went in there, I got a huge smile from the receptionist who asked me about my kids, and who immediately pulled out the ticket information because she knows I'm Griffin's mom and knew why I was there. Then the principal popped his head out, and we had a quick and very rewarding exchange about my son.

Headed then to Target to get mother's day cards (worried I wouldn't get them in the mail on time) and a gift for a birthday party (another tic on the mounting to do list that I was worried I wouldn't get done), and lo and behold I run into a good friend and we clog up the shoe aisle for a good 20 minutes chatting. Good friends - the best medicine.

There's still plenty on my plate to worry about. But it won't do me one bit of good to brood over it 24/7. It makes me cranky with my kids and it shuts me down from my husband. Besides, what if a meteor hits my house tomorrow? Will I regret how I spent that last 24 hours?

If it hits tomorrow, hopefully, I'll be good.

1 comment:

MsVoyce said...

Man, this is so me...I relate to just about everything you write, but this one really hit me. If you figure out how to avoid worry, let me know. You can just post it here...I will read it. :-)