I'm going to move right into the primary topic of discussion, breezing by the fact that I haven't blogged since the kids started school in August. That way you might not notice.
I decided not to make any New Year's resolutions for 2010, as we know how THAT always turns out. I am, however, going to analyze my life occasionally for good resolution candidates that I feel deserve my consideration. And here, my friends, is what occurred to me today.
This morning, I had no less than three people compliment me on my outfit and how I looked. Very nice, and makes me feel good, right?
Well, maybe, sort of. One colleague said, "Hey, you look great! What have you been doing?" as in, lost a coupla pounds? Rather than saying "thanks, nothing new, just watching what I eat", my gut reaction was to say, "Oh, that would definitely be the fact that I'm wearing my one tummy-tightening undergarment that hasn't lost it's elasticity. Oh, and the body-hugging black sweater that's showing off my curves is an el-cheapo $9 sweater from Wal Mart." Really. First two things to pop into my head.
I didn't say it because I was rushing back to my office for a video conference. Or I probably would have. Why, oh why, can I not take a compliment? I'm almost 41 and have come a long way in the self-confidence department, but am by no means there. I'm still like my old insecure teenage self. I have a husband who showers me with love and compliments, and a part of me believes every word. As in, I believe he means it. But not that I agree. Clearly, there is still a major roadblock somewhere in my psyche.
This is not about soliciting compliments, which makes me even more uncomfortable. It's really all about my gut reaction to anything positive anyone says about me. Even if you compliment the paint color I chose for a room in my house...I'll probably tell you how many times I got it wrong first, or show you the room with the nasty color that I want to change.
So, to the people who shared those kind words with me this morning...thank you. My sweater and knee-high boots do look pretty hot, right? (power of positive thinking...)
Resolution Candidate #1: Learn to accept a compliment, inside and out.