It's Sunday night, and I'm totally grumpy. You know how sometimes you recognize it, make no excuses about it, and make no effort to change it? That's how I feel tonight. I'm grumpy, and for whatever reason, I'm entitled to it.
I imagine it has something to do with the fact that I am preparing to return to work tomorrow after being off on a "staycation" with my kids all week. Nine full days off. Blissful, right? Well, once I got to thinking about it, I began to wonder - am I grumpy because I have to go back to work, or perhaps because I need to go back to work?
I suffer from regular working-mom guilt, feeling badly for not being an active part of my kids' lives from 8-5...especially in the summer when they don't have school to keep them busy. So I take a week off to exclusively spend time with them.
It was a success, to be sure. The boys got to see the new Transformers movie. Connor and Olivia both had sleepovers. Took all three kids to Mesquite Groves (fancy local pool) with their cousins on Tuesday, and Thursday we spent the entire afternoon at Sunsplash. Spent an evening at Aunt Marci's house playing wii and Yahtzee.
But I think I'm done. Some moms were cut out to be at home full time, and I very genuinely applaud them. But I am not that mom. Am I too selfish? Do I just need different things to feel like my life is complete? Is it terrible that just being at home with my kids all day is not quite enough for me? I feel like I'm a better mother when I have a life outside my home, but acknowledging it makes me feel guilty...again.
What do you think?